Salesman Brown
Gordon Brown is cold-calling people at home on a regular basis. This is, apparently, part of a plan to “humanise” him. I assume that this is to go alongside his online PMQs. Seriously, what is he - a Martian?!
Rather than “humanising” him, cold-calling voters just makes him look like a salesman. No-one likes getting cold-called by salesmen. Why is the Prime Minister any different? He’s not.
I like the suggestions in the Times on what to say if Gordo called you:
When it’s good to talk . . .
— First ensure that it is the real Gordon Brown and not some pale imitation, such as Ed Balls. Ask if postneoclassical endogenous growth theory entails a thoroughgoing reform of Britain’s R&D subsidy framework. This is, of course, a trick question
— Bear in mind that it is highly unlikely that anyone would wish to pretend to be Gordon Brown
— He is rumoured to break handsets in sudden bouts of phone rage. Should the line go dead, ask yourself whether you may have mentioned Crewe & Nantwich or the 10p tax band
— Topics of conversation include: fuel prices and should you abandon plans to buy a diesel, nuclear power, the early work of the Bee Gees, courage, prudence, Britain’s sustained period of economic growth, your pain and whether or not he can feel it
. . . and when you’d rather not
— Unplug your telephone between 1am and 6am Read aloud into the receiver extracts from Cherie Blair’s autobiography
— If the Prime Minister calls while you are at work, answer every question with the words: “I’m getting on with the job”
— Interrupt his opening with the words: “I have listened and I have learnt.” Then hang up
— Tell him how much you enjoyed “that Times column by that Matthew Paris fellow”
— Inform him that the conversation is being recorded for training purposes
— Tell him that whatever he says you do not believe the two of you can reach a progressive consensus
— Ask if Scotland is really part of Britain
— Say “I’m so glad you rang. I’ve been meaning to tell you how much you remind me of that John Major chap”
If he cold-called me, I’d tell him to make an appointment.
This entry is filed under Gordon Brown. You can follow any responses to this entry through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
-
No Comments
Post your comment