Long term readers of The ThunderDragon will know that the Dragon is a volunteer with St John Ambulance. And, if you’ve got a particularly good memory, you’ll remember that I’ve been on several duties with the man himself.
I’m still hard at work volunteering, including my latest role doing Patient Transport work - mainly inter-hospital transfers and discharges. Sometimes, it’s great fun - a talkative old lady who needs a lift home. Sometimes, with High Dependency work, it’s particularly sad.
Of note was one job a few weeks ago.
We went to the ward to collect this frail old lady, who literally was no more than skin and bones. We had to be really careful sliding her from bed to our stretcher so as not to cause injury. She was also not able to talk. I don’t know what her medical conditions were exactly, but she was only able to mumble.
It makes it so awkward to know what to day. Obviously, you tell the patient what you’re doing - “We’re going to sit you up now” etc. But, during the journey, I had to try and make conversation. I couldn’t leave it as silence - it makes the patient feel unwanted. What to talk about though? Is it going in? Does she understand it? There’s no way of knowing.
And then we left her at this nursing home, to sit in her bed, with only a carer to talk to her and notice her once in a while. Perhaps she had family to pop in once in a while. Perhaps not.
It’s sad.
It’s a real problem though. Say she did have family. No doubt they feel extremely guilty about leaving her in such a home. But, if one of your parents gets to the stage when they need 24hour care (especially if you’re an only child as myself) what can you do?
I’m sure that everyone would want to look after them personally. Think about it - your Mum looked after you in your formative years, you’ll be reciprocating. But, even as a trained Health Care Worker, I’m not sure I could cope. Giving up a job, all social life, devoting your time - and instead of there being progress as there is with tending to a baby, things get harder. There’s an end with looking after a child - a bouncing toddler walking for themselves and starting to talk. The only end with caring for an elderly relative is a funeral.
I don’t have statistics or anything, but I’m sure that most people at some point have to say enough is enough and put their relative into a care home. But, where? You don’t need to read many ambulance blogs to hear about “Don’t care homes” - I’ve seen them myself - but it can be difficult to spot them on a ‘visit’. Regardless of that, there’ll never be someone with the constant supervision that you can offer at home. The elderly far too often find themselves lying, staring at the ceiling, as all of their hard earned savings flow away into paying for such an life.
You can see a lot doing my ‘job’. You learn to take most of it without much effect - it’s not callous, it’s the only way. But, every time I see one of these patients, I think of the sad and meaningless existence many people suffer in the last months of their life. That’s the thing that gets me.
Asp
Apparently, we should never stop working. We should never retire, and never enjoy the fruits of our labour. Instead, we should just work, work, and work - then use equity release schemes to raise money from our homes to pay for care.
