David Aaronovitch-o-Tron
July 31st, 2008 by Matt Wardman
I came across Chris Applegate’s rather wonderful algorithm for a David Aaronovitch simulator, based on this column:
- Step 1: Go ad hominem from the very start and label your opponents as being part of some mythical self-styled intellectual commentariat (while ignoring just how eminently qualified you are yourself to belong to that same cadre):
- Step 2: Posit a false dichotomy and put your opponent at one extreme end of it.
- Step 3: RePush the boat out even more - emphasise how the bad men will get you if you don’t do what they say. Go for the heart-tugging “as a father” line if need be:
- Step 4: When all else fails, wring your hands and play the race card.
- Step 5: Ask a sub-editor to top it off by giving it the headline “Ignore the paranoid fantasists” and voila! Instant column!
That invites a question:
Could we re-engineer Eliza to be an Aaronovitch simulator and thereby prove that belief in the real one is logically unnecessary?
